Q:    Why focus on the loss of a father?

A:    Essentially, there are three reasons for this.  One reason is that the experience of our founder was the loss of his father (see "Bonus Time" article).  In addition, the absence of a father is typically distinguished from the absence of a mother, in terms of changes in family dynamics.  While it is counterproductive for those suffering to study grief in a “comparative” sense, it is nevertheless factually accurate that “fatherloss” and “motherloss,” while both traumatic, have different issues and outcomes.

Q:    How is “father loss” different from “mother loss?”

A:    This is a difficult question to answer, as both are traumatic events in the life of a child.  Studies show that men are far more likely to remarry and to remarry sooner when their wife dies than do women when their husband dies.  Over time, that difference would create “void” issues in “father loss” while creating “replacement” issues in “mother loss.”  In addition, while parental roles have changed over the last generation or two, it is still statistically significant that “father loss” typically has more of a financial impact on the family, which supports Daddy’s Spirit’s commitment to providing recreational opportunities (when the loss of discretionary income in the family might curtail this very essential outlet for children), and to providing college scholarship opportunities (both to help offset this extraordinary and often unaffordable expense, and also to offer an alternative when the pressure of  older siblings’ entering the workforce sooner to help support the family might do a disservice to that child’s career goals and also to the amount of support they could provide over the long term if they were free to pursue those goals)

Q:    Is there a difference in the grieving process when death is “anticipated” (due to terminal illness), as opposed to when it is “sudden?”

A:    This is another difficult question to answer, as it raises the “comparative” issue when either situation presents a traumatic event in the life of a child.  It does appear that positive intervention  before a parent dies of a terminal illness is beneficial to the surviving child.  At the same time, in “anticipated” death, the grief begins sooner, and is coupled with a great deal of uncertainty. The short answer is that there is a difference – in the case of Daddy’s Spirit’s intervention, it may turn out that in the case of “sudden” death, it simply takes longer for the child to be ready to “have fun again.”  We will meet the child at whatever point in their grieving process they are ready to join us.

Q:    What if I think a child could benefit from Daddy’s Spirit’s services, but I don’t know how to approach the subject with them?

A:    The answer to this question depends on the age of the child and your relationship with them.  Children younger than about age 5-6 do not typically understand that their deceased father is not coming back.  There still may be benefit in providing recreational opportunities for them, but not in the context of “counseling” – just in the context of “having fun again.”  As children get older, they will likely be able to decide on their own whether they are ready to meet other children who have also experienced “father loss,” even in a setting such as attending a sporting event, and to determine whether they are ready to pursue that, or whether they would prefer to participate with family members only, or not at all.  The key is to build awareness in the community of the existence of Daddy’s Spirit and its mission – through grief counselors, clergy, teachers as well as the mass media – in order that the affected families and children living in those families can make a choice of whether and when to participate.

Q:    I’d like to volunteer to assist – what do I do?

A:    Thank you for your generosity and your interest in volunteering!  The participation of volunteers will be critical to the success of Daddy’s Spirit.  At this point, we are asking prospective volunteers to complete and submit an application to give us information about themselves.  We intend to provide training and support to our volunteers, and we will have certain expectations of our volunteers – but in this formative stage of Daddy’s Spirit, we are not able to provide complete specifics.

Q:    I’d like to make a donation to Daddy’s Spirit – what do I do?

A:    Thank you for your generosity!  Please click here to be redirected to our on-line donations page.  Or feel free to send your check or money order to “Daddy’s Spirit” at P.O. Box 80022, Valley Forge, PA 19484.  If you are proposing in-kind donations, please contact us in advance.  We are especially looking for event tickets, and donations of recreational equipment (new and gently used) for the children, office-related supplies which would be used for our administrative needs, as well as other donations which could be used for fundraising, such as items for our silent and live auctions.